November Camp Meeting
My Dear Everyone
This Announcement/Meeting Reminder/Election Notification/Warning is the most significant and important email message you have ever or will ever receive!
SO PAY ATTENTION!
The Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp #3000 will meet at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, November 1, 2017 at the Bass Pro Shops on Lakeridge Parkway, off Lewistown Road, south of Ashland. Meet at 6:00 p.m. if you desire to eat in the Restaurant to fortify yourself for the heart wrenching actions that will undoubtedly take place at this meeting.
BE PREPARED TO VOTE. No, not for Governor, Lt. Governor or Attorney General. No, your votes are needed to elect the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp #3000 Officers for 2018! Note this: All members who failed to attend the October Camp meeting were nominated for the Offices of Commander, 1st Lt. Commander and 2nd Lt. Commander. You need to be present on November 1 to protect your interests. There is no telling what can happen with this many nominees for each of these Offices. Do not be caught without appearing to support your cause to the Office you desire, lest you be elected to some other Office, in absentia.
With regard to my marvelous, well run, clean and upright campaign for the Office of Chaplin, there is grave and disappointing news to report. All of my campaign yard signs have been stolen, and all bumper stickers have been viciously ripped from the vehicles to which they were attached. The suspects have been narrowed down to Walter Smith, who has frequently expressed his desire to add yet another office to the long list of Fire Eater Offices he holds. However, no proof is available at this point, so no charges are pending. On another front, the application for Robo Calls throughout the area was rejected by the FCC due to the inexplicable action by my Campaign Manager in attaching my Mug Shot to the application. It is hard to get good help.
In addition to the excitement over the Election of Officers, there is another very good reason to attend the November Camp meeting:
OUR GUEST SPEAKER FOR THE EVENING IS LES UPDIKE, IMMEDIATE PAST 2ND BRIGADE COMMANDER. HE WILL BE SPEAKING ON THE BATTLE OF LYNCHBURG, VA. He is from that area of the State, and has an excellent presentation prepared.
The final reason you should attend the November 1 Camp Meeting is to have the opportunity to witness an all out total disaster, thereby departing from the efficient, effective, orderly, disciplined and professional meeting procedures developed and maintained over a period of many years. The Camp Bylaws specify that in the absence of the Commander, the 1st Lt. Commander is to preside over the Camp Meeting to conduct all Camp business.
You need to attend this meeting to see the entire meeting dissolve into Chaos and Anarchy, and for the 1st Lt. Commander (whoever that might be) to totally lose control of the meeting and business activities of the Camp within 3 seconds of calling the meeting to order. This could establish a new world record. Be there to witness this travesty of leadership and decorum. You do not want to miss this activity.
Respectfully and humbly (but not too humbly), I remain your servant,
Joe Howard
September First Shot
H
ot off the presses!!! The September edition of The First Shot.
August 2017 Fire Eaters Meeting
FIRE EATERS, FRIENDS, LADIES, ASSOCIATES, GUESTS, PROSPECTIVE MEMBERS, LEND ME YOUR EARS, or possibly your wallets, purses, money bags. Anyway, pay attention to this fantastic announcement all ye who await a transcendental experience and be advised of what you can anticipate upon your participation in this unique performance never allowed to be provided in the United States until now, through the diligent efforts of your 1st Lt. Commander.
EVERYONE BE HAPPY. There is joy all around at the prospect of a rousing Fire Eater meeting this coming Wednesday, August, 2, 2017 at Bass Pro Shops near Ashland on Lakeridge Parkway.
Joy, happiness, excitement, ecstatic passion, cheerfulness, rapture, gladness, bliss and pleasures beyond anyone’s imagination await all who attend the upcoming Fire Eater meeting on August 2.
I’m so happy that all is well and there is joy exceeding all expectations for all Members, Friends, Ladies, Associates, Visitors, Guests and Prospective Members to be a part of this felicitous occasion brought to you with little fanfare other than this message. DO NOT DISCLOSE THE CONTENTS OF THIS
MESSAGE TO THE VIRGINIA GOVERNOR, LT GOVERNOR OR ATTORNEY GENERAL to protect the sanctity of our proceedings, and particularly this month’s event filled meeting.
All is well and we are excited to bring this festive evening for your enjoyment and delight.
After the World Famous Happy Dance to be performed by a Compatriot, whose identity will not be revealed, to protect the guilty, all attendees are invited to participate in individual Happy Dances of their own, which shall be judged by the Commander, whose decision is final. Then it is on to the Conga Line Dance throughout the Bass Pro Shops continuing until 9:00 p.m., with liquid refreshments, including adult beverages available in the parking lot for a nominal fee.
Your happiness, joy, cheerfulness and delight are our only desire.
WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, maybe we can squeeze in a brief presentation by our Keynote Speaker for the evening, Bob Krick, who will speak to us about the Generals involved in the Defense of Richmond. His presentation involves a lot of local history around Hanover County, so we may need to shorten the Conga Line.
ACTUALLY FOLKS, here is the Real Deal: Meet at the Bass Pro Shops between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. to enjoy good fellowship and a meal in the Restaurant. Then on to the Business Meeting and Keynote Speaker upstairs in the meeting room at 7:00 p.m.
Bring your friends, neighbors and family members to this August 2, 2017 meeting of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters at Bass Pro Shops.
Bring your happiness, your joy, your excitement, and you will not be disappointed.
All is well, all is peace, all is tranquility. And all hell will break loose on August 2 with passion, rapture and bliss, to mention a few of the benefits of attending this special meeting. BE THERE.
End of Report.
Joe Howard
Tree Removal – Oakwood Cemetery
Monday July 24 , 2017
Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp 3000
Graves & Monuments Committee
Chairman Jim Tingle and member Herb Carver removed a small tree from atop grave markers in Confederate section (D) also picked up trash in Confederate section (A) as well as give assistance to two ladies from Georgia looking for a Confederate ancestor.
July 2017 – The First Shot
Hot off the Presses!!
The July edition of The First Shot is ready.
Edmund Ruffin’s Grave Site
Tuesday July 18,2017Members of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Graves & Monuments Committee came together this morning to remove a fallen tree limb from Edmund Ruffin’s grave site. There was no damage to the fence however, Edmund Ruffin’s headstone was damaged, but can be repaired. We reset Mr. Ruffin’s marker so as to prevent further damage. We hope to repair it soon. We also set another headstone that was atilt caused by the fallen tree limb. We mowed and trimmed the grass. Thank you Tim Tuck, Charles Martin, Bill Cuneo, and Herb Carver for volunteering to join me in preserving and maintaining this historic landmark.
Chairman Jim Tingle
Graves & Monuments Committee
Vandalism at Oakwood
7/13/2017 Oakwood: Vandals ripped the flags off from more than 50 stick flags that were placed on the graves of our Confederate veterans. What you see, in the photo, here is just some of the damage that was was done.
Herb and I were able to replace a majority of the flags that were vandalized, but ran out of flags so were unable to replace them all.
Graves & Monuments Committee
Jim Tingle, Chairman
Grave Committee Report
Tuesday July 18, 2017
Members of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters camp 3000 Graves & monuments committee, went to the family grave site of Edmund Ruffin to clean headstones and replace tattered and or fadded flags. Upon their arrival and to their dismay a large tree limb had fallen across the fence that borders the grave site. The damage, if any, to any of the headstones can not be determind until the limb is removed Tuesday July 18 , 2017. We will have the equipment and volunteers on site at that time.
Graves & Monuments Chairman, Jim Tingle
July 2017 Fire Eaters’ Meeting
Hey Everyone:
Did you realize that 2017 is almost history? Think about it…the days are already getting shorter and 2017 is over have over already! Can you believe it?
Well don’t panic; we have a solution for you that will allow you to sit back, relax and enjoy good fellowship and reacquaint yourself with your Southern Compatriots.
IT IS CALLED THE JULY 5, 2017 EDMUND RUFFIN FIRE EATERS CAMP #3000 MONTHLY MEETING AT THE BASS PRO SHOPS ON LAKERIDGE PARKWAY SOUTH OF ASHLAND (EXIT 89 FROM I-95.
This month our guest speaker is Ed Harris, who will be speaking on John Bell Hood. Ed comes to us through the recommendation of John Henry Taylor.
As usual, we will have a large central table in the Restaurant for any and all who want to socialize before the formal meeting. So gather around the table at 6:00 p.m. (1800 for you military types) to meet, eat and greet. If you prefer, there are a number of other restaurants in the Ashland area, but the Almadora Restaurant is convenient to our meeting space. Regular meeting starts at 7:00 p.m. (1900) in the upstairs meeting room.
We need to get everything straight for the upcoming Tomato Festival, so come on down to see what is planned.
The Camp has not had any controversy since the Camp Corvette and Camp Harley fiasco, and I love a good controversy. Therefore, I urge you to please submit your ideas for a great Camp Controversy to me, so we can see if anyone can get something together that will result in charges being brought this time.
Have fun on July 4th, and get your bad self out to The Bass Pro Shops for our monthly meeting on July 5 at 6:00 p.m.
See you all then.
P.S.: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that the Stafford County Sheriff’s Swat Team surrounded my residence in an effort to repossess the Camp Corvette. Don’t believe it, whatever inaccurate, incorrect and blatant falsehoods the liberal press prints about this alleged incident!
Joe Howard
June 2017 First Shot
The June 2017 edition of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters’ newsletter, The First Shot is now available. Download your copy here..
REMINDER: Color Guard Event
Gentlemen –
This is a reminder for those that contacted me to participate in the Color Guard for the Shockoe Hill ceremony Sunday June 4th at 2 p.m. Please remember that we have been asked to be there one hour early.
We will be dedicating headstones for 35 Confederates, 8 Rev. war and 3 for 1812.
We have already experienced some warm weather. I would recommend if you have a canteen, please carry it. If you don’t please consider putting a bottle of water in your haversack.
There will be times when it is very warm and we will not wear shell jackets / Frock Coats. On warm days you may consider bringing your vest with you. We do not want anyone to suffer heat stroke.
Best Regards,
Joe
June Meeting
Dear Fire Eaters, Friends, Ladies, Associates, Compatriots:
I know you may be anxiously awaiting a weird meeting reminder, with my usual shenanigans, jokes and making a fool of myself, which I thoroughly enjoy doing, even if no one else enjoys such jocular missives.
However, this month, I need to make sure that everyone knows about our new meeting location starting with the June 7, 2017 meeting. This is being done so that no one shows up at the wrong location, and also
to demonstrate that I am “semi compos mentis”, which is a polite way of saying “only half crazy”.
HERE IS THE BIG NEWS, WHICH SHOULD ALSO APPEAR IN THE NEWSLETTER FROM OUR COMMANDER:
THE EDMUND RUFFIN FIRE EATERS CAMP #3000 SCV. WILL HOLD THE MONTHLY CAMP MEETINGS AT BASS PRO SHOP at 11550 LAKERIDGE PARKWAY, OFF LEWISTOWN ROAD, (EXIT 89 ON I-95) SOUTH OF ASHLAND, STARTING WITH THE
UPCOMING JUNE 7, 2017 MEETING.
If you have any questions about the new meeting site or this abrupt change, contact Commander Joe Wright, Adjutant Walter Smith, 2nd Lt. Commander Willie Wells, 1st Lt. Commander Joe Howard, or Matron of Honor Judy Smith, who are all knowledgeable about this shift in location.
My compliments to Commander Joe Wright for his strong leadership efforts to secure a new meeting venue for our Camp on short notice. The fact of the matter is that Anna’s Italian Restaurant advised us that due to low attendance at the Fire Eaters meetings this year, they are booking larger parties in the meeting room, and that we needed to vacate beginning with the June meeting (they have already booked a 75 person group on June 7 to attend a party in the meeting room). As a result, Commander Wright promptly searched for an alternate site, requesting input from the Executive Committee.
Those members who have been with the Camp for a while will remember that we used to meet at the Bass Pro Shops, until we started getting too large for their meeting room to accommodate us. There is a decent restaurant at this location, where we can dine and enjoy fellowship and socializing.
I hope this information is not confusing for anyone. The situation is that we can no longer meet at Anna’s Italian Restaurant, but will now go back to meeting at the Bass Pro Shops (which you can see from I-95), which have everything we need to continue our members, guests, Friends, Associates, the Ladies and visitors.
So if you have your car computer or GPS programmed to take you to Anna’s, you need to override the infallible computer and make a U Turn to head over to the Bass Pro Shops, where we are fortunate to have a restaurant as well as a good private meeting room.
See y’all joining me in circling around Hanover County looking for the Camp #3000 meeting! Not!!! See you at the Bass Pro Shops on June 7, 2017, at 6:00 p.m. for dinner, and 7:00 p.m. for the formal meeting.
Joe Howard
1st Lt. Commander
May 2017 Camp Meeting Reminder
Compatriots, Friends and Ladies, and Associates:
The above coded Subject line can only be interpreted and translated by Camp Members who have the Captain Video secret decoder ring, which can be purchased from the 1st Lt. Commander at the Camp Meeting for only $19.99! BUT WAIT!!! If you contact the 1st Lt. Commander prior to the commencement of the May 3, 2017 Camp Meeting, he will give you TWO Captain Video decoder rings at no additional cost. Imagine the fun you can have with your family transmitting secret messages that those without this important decoding device will have to remain in total darkness about what is happening right before their very eyes. Imagine their embarrassment! Order yours now!
Guess What?!? The strategy of sending a “This is Not a Reminder” message last month was totally unsuccessful. So clearly y’all need some heavy duty motivation.
WELL HERE IT IS:
There is a mystery surrounding SCV Camp #3000, aka the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp, which has been defying explanation and solution for many months now. Top investigators from NCIS, FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and numerous State and Local investigative services have been baffled to to explain the entire situation surrounding the disappearance of the Camp Harley. The Camp Red Corvette was quickly located due to the resourcefulness of our 1st Lt. Commander, and is currently in his possession, awaiting display at the upcoming Camp meeting. BE THERE to see the Camp Corvette on May 3, 2017, at Anna’s Italian Restaurant at 6:00 p.m.!
However, that is only half of the story. After the BOLO was expanded to 6 States and the District of Columbia, the Camp Harley was located by a U.S. Marine at MCB Quantico, VA. At our upcoming Camp Meeting to be held on May 3, 2017, at Anna’s Italian Restaurant, on Mechanicsville Turnpike, at 6:00 p.m. or as soon thereafter as the U.S. Marine arrives to display the Camp Harley, all in attendance will be able to tell their children and children’s children that you were there when the Camp Harley appeared after a mysterious disappearance lasting a number of months. Compatriot Sonny Fauver has graciously volunteered to house the Camp Harley at his spacious facility. BE AT THE MEETING TO WITNESS THIS SPECTACULAR EVENT!
The Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp #3000 is a family oriented organization, Therefore you are encouraged to bring your entire family to witness this once in a lifetime momentous event, never to be repeated, world without end. If you don’t have a family, bring your neighbors, your friends, or anyone you manage to pick up along Mechanicsville Turnpike on your way to our Camp Meeting on May 3, 2017 at Anna’s Italian Restaurant at 6:00 p.m. for dinner, fun and games; with formal meeting starting at 7:00 p.m. The long awaited time for the arrival of the Camp Harley is TBD, in the discretion of our Camp Commander, in coordination with the U.S. Marine involved in this event.
IF THAT IS NOT MOTIVATION FOR YOU, HERE IS THE REAL DEAL:
We are extremely fortunate to have a keynote speaker who is well known for her ability to effectively communicate her messages in support of the Southern Cause. She is frequently requested to speak at various events throughout Virginia. She carefully researches her topic and is a wealth of factual information, which she documents thoroughly. I am happy to report that our good Friend Teresa Roane will be speaking to us on May 3 at Anna’s Italian Restaurant on the topic of “Women of the Confederacy”. She always does a fantastic job, and I am sure you will enjoy her remarks.
Also: Hopefully our Commander will provide us with a Report on the Division Convention held on April 22 in South Boston, VA.
All I can say is that everyone needs to attend this meeting or you will be the laughing stock of the entire SCV for missing this fantastic opportunity to witness history being made right in our own back yard at Anna’s Italian Restaurant on Mechanicsville Turnpike on May 3, 2017 at 6:00 p.m. and for not hearing Teresa Roane’s presentation.
Joe Howard
April 2017 Newsletter
Hot off the presses!! The April 2017 edition of the First Shot.
