November Camp Meeting
My Dear Everyone
This Announcement/Meeting Reminder/Election Notification/Warning is the most significant and important email message you have ever or will ever receive!
SO PAY ATTENTION!
The Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp #3000 will meet at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, November 1, 2017 at the Bass Pro Shops on Lakeridge Parkway, off Lewistown Road, south of Ashland. Meet at 6:00 p.m. if you desire to eat in the Restaurant to fortify yourself for the heart wrenching actions that will undoubtedly take place at this meeting.
BE PREPARED TO VOTE. No, not for Governor, Lt. Governor or Attorney General. No, your votes are needed to elect the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp #3000 Officers for 2018! Note this: All members who failed to attend the October Camp meeting were nominated for the Offices of Commander, 1st Lt. Commander and 2nd Lt. Commander. You need to be present on November 1 to protect your interests. There is no telling what can happen with this many nominees for each of these Offices. Do not be caught without appearing to support your cause to the Office you desire, lest you be elected to some other Office, in absentia.
With regard to my marvelous, well run, clean and upright campaign for the Office of Chaplin, there is grave and disappointing news to report. All of my campaign yard signs have been stolen, and all bumper stickers have been viciously ripped from the vehicles to which they were attached. The suspects have been narrowed down to Walter Smith, who has frequently expressed his desire to add yet another office to the long list of Fire Eater Offices he holds. However, no proof is available at this point, so no charges are pending. On another front, the application for Robo Calls throughout the area was rejected by the FCC due to the inexplicable action by my Campaign Manager in attaching my Mug Shot to the application. It is hard to get good help.
In addition to the excitement over the Election of Officers, there is another very good reason to attend the November Camp meeting:
OUR GUEST SPEAKER FOR THE EVENING IS LES UPDIKE, IMMEDIATE PAST 2ND BRIGADE COMMANDER. HE WILL BE SPEAKING ON THE BATTLE OF LYNCHBURG, VA. He is from that area of the State, and has an excellent presentation prepared.
The final reason you should attend the November 1 Camp Meeting is to have the opportunity to witness an all out total disaster, thereby departing from the efficient, effective, orderly, disciplined and professional meeting procedures developed and maintained over a period of many years. The Camp Bylaws specify that in the absence of the Commander, the 1st Lt. Commander is to preside over the Camp Meeting to conduct all Camp business.
You need to attend this meeting to see the entire meeting dissolve into Chaos and Anarchy, and for the 1st Lt. Commander (whoever that might be) to totally lose control of the meeting and business activities of the Camp within 3 seconds of calling the meeting to order. This could establish a new world record. Be there to witness this travesty of leadership and decorum. You do not want to miss this activity.
Respectfully and humbly (but not too humbly), I remain your servant,
Joe Howard
September First Shot
H
ot off the presses!!! The September edition of The First Shot.
August 2017 Fire Eaters Meeting
FIRE EATERS, FRIENDS, LADIES, ASSOCIATES, GUESTS, PROSPECTIVE MEMBERS, LEND ME YOUR EARS, or possibly your wallets, purses, money bags. Anyway, pay attention to this fantastic announcement all ye who await a transcendental experience and be advised of what you can anticipate upon your participation in this unique performance never allowed to be provided in the United States until now, through the diligent efforts of your 1st Lt. Commander.
EVERYONE BE HAPPY. There is joy all around at the prospect of a rousing Fire Eater meeting this coming Wednesday, August, 2, 2017 at Bass Pro Shops near Ashland on Lakeridge Parkway.
Joy, happiness, excitement, ecstatic passion, cheerfulness, rapture, gladness, bliss and pleasures beyond anyone’s imagination await all who attend the upcoming Fire Eater meeting on August 2.
I’m so happy that all is well and there is joy exceeding all expectations for all Members, Friends, Ladies, Associates, Visitors, Guests and Prospective Members to be a part of this felicitous occasion brought to you with little fanfare other than this message. DO NOT DISCLOSE THE CONTENTS OF THIS
MESSAGE TO THE VIRGINIA GOVERNOR, LT GOVERNOR OR ATTORNEY GENERAL to protect the sanctity of our proceedings, and particularly this month’s event filled meeting.
All is well and we are excited to bring this festive evening for your enjoyment and delight.
After the World Famous Happy Dance to be performed by a Compatriot, whose identity will not be revealed, to protect the guilty, all attendees are invited to participate in individual Happy Dances of their own, which shall be judged by the Commander, whose decision is final. Then it is on to the Conga Line Dance throughout the Bass Pro Shops continuing until 9:00 p.m., with liquid refreshments, including adult beverages available in the parking lot for a nominal fee.
Your happiness, joy, cheerfulness and delight are our only desire.
WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, maybe we can squeeze in a brief presentation by our Keynote Speaker for the evening, Bob Krick, who will speak to us about the Generals involved in the Defense of Richmond. His presentation involves a lot of local history around Hanover County, so we may need to shorten the Conga Line.
ACTUALLY FOLKS, here is the Real Deal: Meet at the Bass Pro Shops between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. to enjoy good fellowship and a meal in the Restaurant. Then on to the Business Meeting and Keynote Speaker upstairs in the meeting room at 7:00 p.m.
Bring your friends, neighbors and family members to this August 2, 2017 meeting of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters at Bass Pro Shops.
Bring your happiness, your joy, your excitement, and you will not be disappointed.
All is well, all is peace, all is tranquility. And all hell will break loose on August 2 with passion, rapture and bliss, to mention a few of the benefits of attending this special meeting. BE THERE.
End of Report.
Joe Howard
Tree Removal – Oakwood Cemetery
Monday July 24 , 2017
Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Camp 3000
Graves & Monuments Committee
Chairman Jim Tingle and member Herb Carver removed a small tree from atop grave markers in Confederate section (D) also picked up trash in Confederate section (A) as well as give assistance to two ladies from Georgia looking for a Confederate ancestor.
July 2017 – The First Shot
Hot off the Presses!!
The July edition of The First Shot is ready.
Edmund Ruffin’s Grave Site
Tuesday July 18,2017Members of the Edmund Ruffin Fire Eaters Graves & Monuments Committee came together this morning to remove a fallen tree limb from Edmund Ruffin’s grave site. There was no damage to the fence however, Edmund Ruffin’s headstone was damaged, but can be repaired. We reset Mr. Ruffin’s marker so as to prevent further damage. We hope to repair it soon. We also set another headstone that was atilt caused by the fallen tree limb. We mowed and trimmed the grass. Thank you Tim Tuck, Charles Martin, Bill Cuneo, and Herb Carver for volunteering to join me in preserving and maintaining this historic landmark.
Chairman Jim Tingle
Graves & Monuments Committee
Vandalism at Oakwood
7/13/2017 Oakwood: Vandals ripped the flags off from more than 50 stick flags that were placed on the graves of our Confederate veterans. What you see, in the photo, here is just some of the damage that was was done.
Herb and I were able to replace a majority of the flags that were vandalized, but ran out of flags so were unable to replace them all.
Graves & Monuments Committee
Jim Tingle, Chairman
